Budgie’s Journal #169 – A Redirection of Energy

I don’t know what’s up with today. Maybe it’s having the holiday in the middle of the week. Maybe it’s because I woke up with a sore back. Maybe it’s because I somehow gained three pounds back on this diet. Maybe yesterday was too much of a shit show and today is shaping up to match it. Whatever the reason, today’s energy feels off, gross, and I can’t shake it.

Ok… Some of you are probably thinking I’m off my nut or going on about that hippy shit I sometimes spew out. I can tell you with a straight face that’s it’s not the case. Energy is around and inside us all. If you train your mind, you can feel it. If you can focus and meditate, you can redirect and repurpose it, even if only in small amounts.

Today, I’m going to focus on the latter.

I woke up feeling down, dragging ass. I came in late to work, have a mandatory social function after, and I’ll be up late doing my chores. That all adds up to negative energy on my being, and I don’t need it.

I wanted to call out and work this energy out of me despite my body already being sore. I had the urge to go a couple of rounds with the punching bag, take my dog for a long walk, and lift weights until my arms fell off. But I didn’t…

Yes, I’m at work, but I can fit a quick meditation in to my busy schedule. I have a thirty-minute track of white noise that helps me focus my mind to fine tune. I finished a project last night (the second draft of I’m in Sci-fi Hell), and I’m starting a new one today (The Whore Ghosts of the Admiral Inn). I should be revelling. Sure, I’m a month or two behind my self-set schedule, but I’m accomplishing things!

Take a moment today, close your eyes, and focus, trying to feel your own energy. Once you have it, remember the feel. These little tune-ups are essential for days like these.

-Budgie Bigelow

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