Budgie’s Journal #153 – Guest Blogger Joe Plume, Star of Ant-Head: A Love Story

As tired as I am from narrating my own story, I’m here to guest blog for my good friend and creator, Budgie Bigelow. As excitement and anticipation looms in the air from the impending publication of my story, I’ve decided to introduce myself. My name’s Joe Plume, writer, sitcom guru, narrator. Today, I’m blogging, an activity made famous by Doogie Howser, M.D.

I don’t blog often. My forte is fan fiction. You know: the art of taking an existing sitcom and turning into an original story. I can almost hear some of you scoffing at me, but it’s a hobby that takes skill and practice.

But you wanted to know who I am.

I’m the father of Murphy Brown’s bastard child. It was I who purchased the Banks’ Bel Air home. I was the last man with whom Ellen ever slept.

OK… So, none of that’s true. Who I am is a thirty-something year old cubicle jockey with little life outside of the sparkle and glow of the world of fan fiction and online forums. All that changes, of course. I wouldn’t have an entire book written about my life if something interesting didn’t happen.

Enter Tammy; the female lead, the romantic interest, the Diane Chambers to my Sam Malone. She came into my life, all dark-haired, curvy, and sexy. The best part was that she had forgotten me after all those years since she was in the classroom with a certain boy who had ants in his hair.

Did I mention the kids used to call me Ant-Head when I was a kid? You should probably know that, as it’s the basis for the title of the book. In an ejaculation of wit, one of my classmates had exclaimed the nickname for the entire class to hear as I sat in front of an open copy of Where the Red Fern Grows that had the ants that had formerly been in my hair crawling all over it. I’d go into more detail, but I want you to buy the book. All this is laid out in the prologue. It’s an endearing and humanizing tale to start my love story.

Most of the book is about the blossoming of a love only a fan fiction writer can have for a coworker who’s way out of his league. No, I don’t end up stalking her. I end up in the tangle of her life as a single mother, trying her best to make it in a man’s world. Was I ready for all that was laid out before me? Not even close! But that doesn’t stop me from attempting to be the boyfriend of her dreams.

And is there conflict? Boy is there ever! I have conflicts with everyone; coworkers, children, Tammy, douchebags on the internet, etcetera. Don’t think this is just some average love story. This is my love story, and It’s not some cake walk episode of Family Ties. Love is a battlefield, my friend. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

So, come join me on 4/17 on a romance of a lifetime! Ant-Head: A Love Story by Budgie Bigelow will be available in both digital and paperback on the same day! Hey, Budgie had to gain mastery of this self-publishing thing at some point, right?

-Joe Plume
4/11/18

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Want to read Joe Plume’s entire story? Check out the entire book here:

Ant-Head: A Love Story by Budgie Bigelow

Available in digital or paperback!

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