Prompt as Hell with KJ and Budgie #6 – The Ballad of Mister Pickle-Lips

KJ and I give each other writing prompts each Wednesday, and we have to write a piece based on that prompt, no matter what it is. We are not allowed to reveal the prompts.

This is Prompt as Hell with KJ Marshall and Budgie Bigelow.

Episode 6: The Ballad of Mister Pickle-lips


“Boobies!” young Cody exclaimed. At nine years old, figuring out how to Google search for naked ladies was a monumental event. I stood behind him, watching him work the computer like a boobie-finding pro, using the skills a friend at school had told him during lunch at school. His mom was upstairs napping, so his shouting was probably a bad idea. Still, his mind absorbed and recorded the images on the computer monitor as his pink tongue licked his lips.

His little pee-pee was filling with blood, hardening under his Guardians of the Galaxy underoos. The stiffening of his child-sized manhood spelled doom for me, little Cody’s imaginary friend.

Cody had named me Mister Pickle-lips the moment of my creation. His father had made him a sandwich, and a four-year-old Cody didn’t want it. Cody’s father made a face out of various condiments on top of the sandwich, using two pickles as a mouth. “Hello,” Cody’s father said in a high-pitched voice. “I’m Mister Pickle-lips. Eat me!”

I was born amid Cody’s giggles. My head is a tuna fish sandwich, my eyes are green olives, and my mouth is two pickles. I also speak in a high-pitched voice identical to the one Cody’s father gave me. It was a shame he left Cody and his mom in order to move in with his new boyfriend in Maine, but it strengthened the bond between Cody and me.

But now I was fading, my fate becoming closer to sealed with each new pair of breasts reflecting in Cody’s bright eyes. I looked at my hand, and I wasn’t surprised I could see through it, the view being Cody’s back and the nude breasts on the screen in front of him. A boy has no need for an imaginary friend once he’s discovered the majesty of the female form in all its naked glory.

The one regret I had while I became unmade was never telling Cody’s mom I was in love with her. It was probably for the better. Cosy hadn’t imagined me with a dick.

“Those look like mommy’s nipples,” Cody said as the world left my senses and I dissolved from this reality. As I became nothing, less than a figment of a child’s hyperactive imagination, I wondered: Is there an afterlife for imaginary beings?

I took a one last breath and let the blackness envelope me, listening to Cody’s voice echo into the void.

“Boobies are awesome!”

-Budgie Bigelow

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