Prompt as Hell with KJ and Budgie #4 – Budgie and the Bayou

KJ and I give each other writing prompts each Wednesday, and we have to write a piece based on that prompt, no matter what it is. We are not allowed to reveal the prompts.

This is Prompt as Hell with KJ Marshall and Budgie Bigelow.

Episode 4: Budgie and the Bayou

The sun blazed in the sky over the Louisiana Bayou. “Lemme ax you somethin’, T- Rob,” Goober said, standing on the porch of the shop he owned with his longtime friend. “Where d’ya dink farts go?”

“You bein’ coo-yon?” T-Rob asked in return. “Dey go up in da’ ozone.”

“Really?” Bob asked. “Like in da’ clouds?”

“Yea,” Goober replied.

“So da’ rain is our farts, fallin’ back down on us?” T-Rob asked.

“No,” Goober said. “You stop dat talkin’ ‘bout fart-rain, T-Rob.”

A tan sedan drove past their shop, and it came to a halt. A cloud of steam emanated from under the hood. “Cho! Co!” Goober said. “Lookie what we have here, T-Rob!”

“Dat’s a fancy car for dese here parts,” T-Rob chortled. “What kinda bigarno gonna step outta dere, ya reckon?”

“Wanna have a bit’a fun?” Goober asked.

“Yea,” T-Rob replied. “I can go fo’ a bit.”

“Ay!” Goober shouted. “Are you getting’ down?!”

Someone stepped out of the car. In contrast to the two men wearing filthy jumpsuits, he was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. He looked at the front of his car before approaching Goober and T-Rob. “Hey,” he said. “Do you guys have a phone I can use?”

“What happenin’ dere, mon?” Goober asked. “Ya done blew a cork?”

“I don’t know,” the man said. “This is just my rental car. I have the roadside assistant package, but I have no service on my cell phone.”

“Wha’chu doin’ out in dese parts?” Goober asked as T-Rob smiled beside him. “You a long way from da’ main road, ya hea?”

“My name is Budgie Bigelow,” the lost traveler replied. “I’m supposed to be meeting a friend and fellow author. Her name is KJ Marshall. Have you heard of her?”

Goober and T-Rob exchanged a look and then looked back to Budgie.

“Guess you haven’t,” Budgie said. “She told me she was pretty well known around here. Anyway, my GPS had me come through this way to avoid some traffic, so I’m lost. Can I use your phone now?”

“Wait a sec,” Goober said. He turned back to T-Rob, giving him a grin with a lot of missing teeth. “I dink we need to show ‘im a Cajun welcome.”

T-Rob returned the grin, even more toothless than Goober had. “I reckon we should,” he said. “Want me to get Fluffy?”

“Go an’ get fluffy,” Goober said. He turned to Budgie. “Y’all wait here, podna. T-Rob is gon’ be right back.”

Budgie looked at the sign near Goober. “Pete’s Moss,” he said. “Was that intentional?”

Goober shrugged. “I dunno,” he said.

“So you guys sell moss?” Budgie asked.

“Ya,” Goober replied.

“Are you Pete?” Budgie asked.

“Naw,” Goober replied. “Ya’ll axin’ an awful lot, coo-yon.”

“Look,” Budgie said. “If I can just use the phone… WHAT THE FUCK?!”

T-Rob returned. “Fluffy says hi,” he said. He was leading an alligator out of the shop by its leash. “Ya’ll wanna give ‘im a cuddle, city boy?”

“Shit,” Budgie said, backing away. “Put it back inside!”

“Aw no, podna,” Goober said, walking toward Budgie along with T-Rob and Fluffy. “Ya’ll gon’ hurt my babe’s feelin’s. Give our new frien’ a kiss dere, Fluffy.”

Fluffy walked toward Budgie, showing her teeth in a huge grin. Budgie’s back was against his car a moment later, and he scrambled to the hood. Fluffy did her best to follow, snapping her jaws in a playful motion as Budgie made his way to the roof of the car. “I always knew I’d die this way!” he cried.

“Ga lee!” T-Rob exclaimed. “We done roofed us a city boy!”

“Naw,” Goober said, opening the driver’s side door of the car. “I dink he wanna go fo’ a lil’ ride.” He put the car into neutral.

“No!” Budgie shouted. “Stop!”

“Lemme give you little push,” Goober said. He went to the back to the car and shoved his body into it. It rolled down the slight incline, heading toward the bayou.

“FUCK!” Budgie shouted as his car hit a tree, sending him into the swampy water. He stood up, drenched and muddy. “Shit!”

Goober and T-Rob howled with laugher. They could barely breathe, let alone continue their taunting. Their laughter died as an alligator lunged from under the water, taking Budgie under with it. There was nothing left a moment later but a couple of muddy bubbles and ripples atop the water.

“Ho-lee shit,” Goodber said, his mouth agape.

“I dought we’s just gon’ have a lil’ fun wit’ ‘im!” T-Rob said. “What da’ fuck was dat?!”

“Dat,” Goober said, “was us murderin’ a man.”

Goober and T-Rob looked at each other in silence and turned their gaze to the now still water.

Da’ En’

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