Prompt as Hell with KJ and Budgie #1 – The Dog Who Ate My Ham Sandwich

KJ and I give each other writing prompts each Wednesday, and we have to write a piece based on that prompt, no matter what it is. We are not allowed to reveal the prompts.

This is Prompt as Hell with KJ Marshall and Budgie Bigelow.

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Have I ever told you about the delicious ham sandwiches I make? They’re they best. It’s really more of a grilled cheese with ham in the middle, but now were just splitting hams. Get it?

Anyway, I had made myself a monster of a ham sandwich. I brought it to the living room, set it on the end table, and sat down. I realized I had nothing with which to wash this hot ham and cheese sandwich down, so I got up to get myself a glass of unsweetened iced tea.

I neglected to secure Kahlua, my mischievous morkie. She’s ever the opportunist, and she jumped onto the couch and grabbed my sandwich, running off with it before I could return with my drink. “KAHLUA!” I shouted. She was gone already though, knowing I would pursue her until my sandwich was wrestled from her grasp.

I knew there was only one scenario as I searched the house. She was going to eat as much as the sandwich as fast as possible, making herself sick. I was in for a day of cleaning up dog puke if I didn’t get the sandwich from her, and that wasn’t a day I wanted to have.

“KAHLUA!” I repeated. Of course she wouldn’t answer. She couldn’t talk, and she wasn’t going to bark, not with a mouthful of my friggin’ ham sandwich. I finally found her hiding under the dining room table, my sandwich more than halfway gone.

Or did she still have half left to eat?

That’s when I thought about my recent bought of pessimism. Granted, life hadn’t gone how I wanted it to go lately, but had I really lost that last bit of optimism? Was the sandwich really have gone? Why couldn’t half be left? And why is my current state of mind being symbolized by my dog eating my lunch?!

But I got the point. It was time to give up the negative thinking and to focus on what I had good in my life. I had to stop looking at life like the sandwich is half-eaten, get rid of the bad energy, and focus on the half of the sandwich that’s still within reach.

If only my fucking dog didn’t still have it.

“Drop it!” I exclaimed. Kahlua didn’t drop it. She clasped her mouth tighter around the remaining half of my ham sandwich and ran off, giving me the slip to go find somewhere to hide on the other side of the house to finish it off. I chased after her.

“GET YOUR LITTLE ASS BACK HERE!”

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