Budgie’s Journal #76 – Content

You’re leaving, taking a break from everything. Only you’re not. What matters is what follows you from the cool cities to the hot beaches, from hot beaches to calm lakes, from calm lakes to home again, where you started.

If you can’t force yourself to let go, then you’ll never be rid of what you so desperately need to get away from.

It will follow because you held its hand since the beginning, comforted it on the long journey, and allowed it to rest between the sheets of your bed.

It doesn’t have to wait for your return. You never truly abandoned it.

And you and your lover won’t ever be content if you don’t see what it’s doing to you both. You’ve become comfortable with your little ball of negative energy. It’s yours to nurture and other’s responsibility to carry the burden of what it does to you.

But you think you’re content. The need outweighs reality.

Budgie Bigelow

One comment

  • I really liked this post. It’s true. One reason why I went to NYC was to try and escape. It was one year from the day my life changed. In a sense, the trip helped, but not before it royally messed me up first.

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