President Trump

President Trump sat in the Oval Office for the very first time on a chilly January day in 2017 (even though he was nice and toasty in his best suit). He propped his feet on the desk and looked out the window. “I did it,” he said to the empty room. “Son of a bitch, I really did it.”

What started off as a personal prank quickly snowballed into something incredible. When Donald Trump ran for president in 2012, he accused President (former president as of now) Barrack Obama of not being born in America. He also vowed to kick all illegal Mexicans out of the country and keep them out for good. That race didn’t last long for him, but the next one would prove to be epic.

Donald Trump challenged himself to be more boisterous and obnoxious the second time around, laughing all the way to the proverbial bank. He once again vowed to keep all illegal Mexicans out of America, claiming this would somehow make the country great again. He even went as far as to mock their speech in a crass imitation, insulting their very culture in the process. He thought he’d be ousted by the Republican Party and American people, but they were eating it up.

“Fuck it,” Trump said into a mirror before one of the many televised GOP debates. “Let’s see how far I can take this thing.”

Trump had the money, and he had the time. He ran a campaign based on everything the rest of the country holds against the Republican Party. He had previously stated the both parties had lost their ways, and he’d run as an independent if he ever ran. When it came down to actually running, he ran as a cartoonish version of the far right wing politicians.

He told them he wanted to build a wall on the southern border of the United States, and the right wingers loved it. People were offended (especially when he mocked a Hispanic reporter during a debate), but enough people supported this whacky idea to keep his numbers strong. They pointed out that his employees at his hotels were hispanic immigrants, but he ignored them and kept going.

He told them the liberal’s idea of gun control stripped them of their second amendment rights, and the right wingers loved this too. Even in the face of yet another act of gun violence, he stood strong. He said this kind of crime was only preventable by putting more guns in the hands of civilians rather than exercising any kinds of regulations on firearms or ammunition.

He said he wanted to stop Muslim immigrants from entering the country in any way, and the right wingers once again loved what he was telling them. He used attacks by ISIS in Paris and the shooting in San Bernardino in 2015 to fuel a new kind of disdain for American Muslims, and more and more people joined in. He used fear and hatred to push himself further than he even thought possible. He had started out amusing himself, but he had tapped into something he didn’t even know was inside him.

They said he was going against the United States Constitution, but he ignored them. They said he was disqualified as a presidential candidate, but he kept on running. They even chastised him for mocking the disabled community, but he didn’t care. They demanded that President Obama take action, but he didn’t do a thing, scared of being called out by the runaway train named Donald Trump.

It was at this point that Trump had started to believe his own hype.

They compared him to Adolf Hitler on the internet; pointing out that Trump was doing to the Muslims exactly what Hitler had done to the Jews. Trump couldn’t argue that some of the points were valid, but his supporters touted that the Jews hadn’t been responsible for any violence like the Muslims. They brought up the Japanese interment camps, claiming he wanted to do the same to Muslims. Once again, Trump ignored the naysayers, and he kept on pushing for the presidency.

His claims became wilder. He demanded that Bill Gates shut down parts of the internet to stop Muslims from communicating. Anyone who thought they were internet savvy told him this wasn’t possible, but he argued that they were wrong. Bill Gates did nothing, and Trump chastised him publicly for it.

Trumpmania went to a whole new level in 2016, and the other GOP candidates were almost forgotten by the end of January. He started getting more media coverage than Obama (whom he had publicly called a pussy soon after the New Year began). Foreign news outlets were translating his speeches, and people in the far reaches of the world (who knew little of American politics) already started to believe that he had become president. They became outraged and violent, bombing embassies and rioting in the streets of any country who still supported America.

Again, Trump used this to fuel his campaign. He was now insisting that all Muslim-Americans have a more thorough background checks and start carrying IDs if they were cleared as safe. In Trump’s plan, any who had any tie to any known or suspected terrorist or extremist would be deported immediately or held in prison camps until they could be cleared. President Obama pleaded with the Muslim community that this would not happen under his watch, but they were not satisfied with the promise of a president who had less than a year left in office.

The Republican candidates dropped one by one. Soon, it was just Jeb Bush and Donald Trump for the nomination. Bush slipped up too many times during debates and speeches, and Trump pulled off an upset victory, becoming the 2016 Republican nominee for President.

Hatred against Trump reached its critical mass in the Middle East. The Trump International Hotel & Tower in Istanbul was attacked by suicide bombers soon after the news of his Republican nomination. Forty seven people were killed, and twenty five more were injured in the blast that took out the lobby and a chunk of the first four floors. It seemed Muslim countries had once again assumed he was elected president already, and they were sending him a message in fire. Barrack Obama addressed the world to reassure everyone he was still the president of the United States, and this kind of attack would not go unpunished.

Donald Trump gave his own televised address. He bought time on every major network with his own money, declaring war on ISIS or any terrorist group that thought he would not retaliate in a tear-filled tirade. The American flag was draped behind him as he promised never to forget those that lost their lives in the Istanbul bombing, vowing vengeance against the ones who committed the atrocity.

Trump was seen as a sympathetic figure after these events. His supporters claimed his speech was more heartfelt than Obama’s, and they questioned, more than ever, if Obama’s loyalties truly lay with the Muslim people. Trump fueled this by tweeting about President Obama’s ties to the Muslim faith (which were mostly imagined).

Vladimir Putin came out in support of Donald Trump, and Trump took his own plane on his own dime to meet with Putin to discuss the developing situation. Putin treated Trump like a dignitary, ignoring the UN’s pleas to stop and continue discussions with them instead of the presidential candidate. Putin promised to aid to any war the United States was dragged into if the people elected Trump as their next president. Trump, of course, accepted with a handshake that was on the cover of every newspaper the following day.

It was at this time that Iran announced out of nowhere that they were on the brink of war with the United States. The UN once again got involved, pleaded with Iranian President Hassan Rouhani not to wage any kind of war, but he ignored them. Kim Jong Un of North Korea came out in support of Iran and Rouhani, claiming that he would be their allies in glorious wars against America. Their handshake made every newspaper in America.

Trump’s numbers were stronger than ever as Barrack Obama and Democratic nominee for President, Bernie Sanders, tried to calm the world-wide chaos that surrounded Trump whenever he spoke. Soon after the attack in Istanbul, terrorists finally took the fight against Donald Trump to US soil.

They called it the Massacre of Atlantic City on every news channel. Nobody knew the exact number, but dozens of Muslim extremists and terrorists converged on the city most synonymous with Donald Trump. Hundreds of Men, women, and children were executed in the streets. Buildings were burnt to the ground or bombed. The chaos ensued for two whole days as President Obama declared marital law, sending the National Guard and Marines to quell the violence. Three separate terrorist organizations took credit for the attacks.

Barack Obama once again addressed the world, urging an end to the fighting, but Trump once again bought time for his own speech. He promised to fund his own war against the terrorist groups, even if he wasn’t elected president. Once again, Trump’s speech reached more people than the President’s.

Trump beat Bernie Sanders in the election November of 2016, and the people of the United States readied themselves to make America great again as it poised itself on the brink of World War III. He stayed quiet for the months between November and January, keeping the American people, along with the entire world, in suspense as they awaited for him to take the office.

Trump was ready to send the armed forces into battle. His plans for the Mexican border wall and Muslim intermittent camps were being formulated. His repeal to all current gun control laws was being written by his top men, ready for Americans to defend their homes against the Muslim threat his predecessor failed to extinguish. He’d had just gotten off the phone with Putin, and he was able to invade three separate countries at a moment’s notice, salivating over the prospect of a glorious war. 

More than half of the country stood with their newly elected president, but the other half were beginning to talk about taking the country back from him before he destroyed it. Let them try to impeach or march on him. He had the guns and the bombs, and they knew he wouldn’t be afraid to use them.

President Trump pulled a cuban cigar from the gold and velvet box on his desk. They were a gift from the now Vice President Jesse Ventura. He lit the end with a wooden match, turning it as he started to suck the smoke from the other end.

“It’s good to be the president,” Trump said, blowing out a cloud of gray while looking out of window of his Oval Office. “Goddam, it’s fuckin’ good.”

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  1. Pingback: Table of Contents | Budgie Bigelow's Blog

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