You don’t know me, but my name is Budgie Bigelow. I have been writing for a couple of years now, and I have been a fan of Parks & Rec and your movies. I’ve been seeing a ton of you on TV with Jurassic World coming out, and I have an opportunity that you would be foolish to ignore.
Last November, I put out a book called Desperately Seeking Shemale about a man named Ron who falls for a transgender woman named Cindy after meeting her both online and off by chance. It’s an adult-oriented romantic comedy focusing on the pair’s blooming relationship, Ron’s past with his ex-wife and daughter, and Cindy’s unsuccessful ventures in relationships. The comedy is raunchy, and the drama is heavy at times.
If you’ve read this far (or at all), you’re probably asking what this has to do with you. Let me answer that for you, Chris. I think you would be a perfect Ron in a movie version of Desperately Seeking Shemale. Let’s face it, you’re box office gold right now, and studios should be working overtime trying to get the team of Chris Pratt and Budgie Bigelow together to make this smash hit happen.
But here’s the rub..
I’m on the East Coast, so I’m not out there trying to sell scripts as a wait tables or valet cars, but you are. Champion this book-into-movie venture and you can be Chris Pratt: Executive Producer. You can also star and (dare I say) make your directorial debut. There’s no losing in this scenario!
So I’m on board with this idea. That goes without saying. All we need now is for you to pimp this out to Hollywood to get this rolling, and there is no better time. With Bruce Jenner turning into Caitlyn and transgender being the “in” thing right now, there’s no better time to start immediate production of a romantic comedy about a man and a shemale. With Jurassic World coming out, the publicity of this announcement would push your movie over the edge!
I know what you may be thinking: “But I’m not gay or bisexual.” Well, Chris, you don’t have to be. That’s the beauty of DSS. Cindy is a woman in all sense of the word except her ding dong (which probably won’t be shown in the movie other than a possible bulge). The main character of the story is straight (“straightish” as he puts it). The sex will have to be toned down for the screen anyway, so it’s not like you’re making a porno or anything. I don’t even know why you’re worried. It’s not like you have to full tilt gay like Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger.
I know this sounds like an infomercial, but I think we can both benefit from this. I hope you read this and seriously consider jumping on board to help me sell this thing. Hell, you can even buy the rights yourself if you want. I’m game if you are.
Hit me up using the contact form on my Table of Contents page on my main site or on Twitter: @BudgieBigelow. I hope to hear from you soon.
P.S. I know you had your humble beginnings in TV, so you might want to check out my sitcom, Freedom Lane, also on BudgieBigelow.com. I think the networks or Netflix would go nuts if you presented this as a project of yours. Just some food for thought…..